On my mind

I cannot get him off my mind. Years have gone by and the distance between us has only grown, yet there he is... still on my mind and in my heart. I have loved him, hated him, resented him, wanted him... so many feelings I have had for him, yet there he is... still on my mind and in my heart.

I wonder what would happen if we were to meet again... we would be friendly. After all, that is where we started. I wonder if his heartbeat would quicken against his will... I think mine would. Could help not to imagine our bodies against one another's... as it used to be? I don't know that I could.

He was not the best lover I have had. Truthfully, he was selfish in bed. He was not attentive, and did only what he had to do in order to get his. At the time, my heart ruled me in his presence and I could have come with a look from him. No longer... I am older, wiser, I now know what I want and am not afraid to demand it.

Ah, but that truly does not matter all. It could never happen between us again... even if he, too, thinks of me at all. I have my soulmate, my friend, my partner... my husband. He has his wife... I do hope for his sake that she is to him at least half of what my husband is to me.

We had our chance. Whatever could have been, can be no longer. What it was in the first place was a joke of a relationship, at best.

But, he is still on my mind...